Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
