my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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