i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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