i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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