office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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