is your mom at the bar?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
