theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
