the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
