So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize