I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
