I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
