Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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