You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
