i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
