my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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