i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
