That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
