handjob tips. give me some.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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