pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize