Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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