There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
