I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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