The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
