shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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