It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
