This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize