Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
