how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
