I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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