maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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