i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
