drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
