This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
