So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
