girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
