i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
