Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
