We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
