Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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