I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
