dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
