I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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