She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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