do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
