Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently you make a good broom.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize