He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
