Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
