everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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