i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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