i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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