Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
