I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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