i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
