Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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