i just wanna soil my oats bro
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
