dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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