You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
