Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
