There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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