Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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