ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
