id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
