I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
