so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
