I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
