i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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