So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
