we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
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I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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