I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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