I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
