His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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