Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
