Fuck appropriateness.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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