Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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