If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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