Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
