We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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